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| MATT, LE MATCHMAKER
No Valentine? Matt will hook you up. Answer this simple questionnaire and he’ll pair you up with another xangan. Just look at the success couples in the past have had!
(ok, so maybe not the best track record...at least one of ‘em made it though, right?)
Just fill out the short questionnaire below and be astounded!
(note: this is total ridiculousness intended for fun, playful purposes only)
1. Out of the following, what is your favorite TV show?
a) Law and Order
b) Sex and the City
c) Seinfeld
d) American Idol
2. Out of the following, what is your favorite book?
a) The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum
b) Bridget Jones’s Diary by Helen Fielding
c) Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
d) Not much of a reader...
3. Out of the following (yea, I know AGAIN), what is your favorite album?
a) Matrix Soundtrack – Various Artists
b) Madonna – Confessions on a Dance Floor
c) Beck – Odelay
d) Kelly Clarkson – Thankful
4. What is your idea of the perfect date (yes, out of the following)?
a) Dinner at the Olive Garden and maybe the Theater
b) A night of dancing at the city’s finest nightclubs
c) Renting a movie and ordering some take out
d) Drinking my date under the table
5. If you could be an animal, what animal would you be?
a) Bear
b) Tiger
c) Platypus
d) Parrot
Yes, yes, I realize that the foundations of a healthy relationship require more similarities in personality than just those listed above (ie: political persuasion, religious philosophies, etc.), but this is just a goofy test for fun. So take it. Or don’t. But if you don’t, then a badger will sneak into your pillow in the middle of the night, I promise you.
PS. The position of Matt’s Valentine is still open this year. Any interested in applying may review the application HERE (scroll down towards the middle of the post).
PPS. The fourth picture of the couples is my brother and his girlfriend. My brother, MARK, and his girlfriend, MAGGIE. Not me. He's the brown brother and I'm the white brother. That is all.
RIDICULOUSLY INTERESTING DREAM MATT HAD
(seriously, you want to read this)
There was a time last semester during which I was under a lot of stress (which seems to happen often). One night during that period of stressed-out-ed-ness, I had a dream. In this dream, I was just walking through the door when my little brother looked up at me and this conversation ensued:
MARK: Oh, Matt, you got a phone call.
MATT: Who was it?
MARK: It was Jesus. He said to go ahead and call him back.
MATT: (blank stare) Ummm...who called me, really?
MARK: It was Jesus, seiously.
MATT: Fine, whatever, man, don’t tell me then.
MARK: Well ok, he’ll probably just call back anyway.
MATT: HAHA, ok, whatever.
And right then the phone rang. It was a standard cordless phone present in most American households, however, it was bright white. Mark picked it up, looked at the caller ID, and immediately handed it to me. I looked down at the caller ID and was speechless:
So I received the call and with a smile (because surely it was a joke), and said, “HELLO?” The man on the other end responded:
“Hey Matt, it’s Jesus. I kinda noticed you’ve been a little stressed out lately, so I thought I’d give you a call and maybe talk to you about it.”
After he said that, I knew it was Him. It was strange, because the voice was so familiar, so gentle and comforting, it could only be one person. So, I had a conversation with Jesus a little while, talking about what had been on my mind and where I was heading in life. He didn’t give me any big answers about where I or the world was heading, but that wasn’t why He called. He only called to be a sympathetic shoulder to cry on when I needed it the most.
So I have no idea why I got that phone call in my dream. Maybe my mind saw that I was overworked and needed to calm itself down somehow and created that pleasant little dream. Or maybe my prayers had actually been answered somehow in the middle of the night. In any case, I know I’d been questioning the priesthood for a long time and had been on the look out for my “calling” from God, but I’m pretty sure that’s not why He called me that evening. It would be foolish of me to make such a life-changing decision over one night’s rest. However, I am certainly more open to signs now about it. So I’ll wait and see. If He really wants me in the clergy that badly, I’m sure He’ll call back.
Hey, can you hold on just a second, Dad? I’m on the phone.
THE SIDEWALK PHENOMENON
It seems that something strange happens whenever I’m walking alone along a sidewalk that intersects with another sidewalk. Whenever there is someone else in the intersecting sidewalk, we always arrive at the same time. It’s strange because if we’re at the same distance at some point, we’re not traveling at the same speed. Or if we ARE traveling at the same speed, we’re not at the same distance.. No matter how much faster I am walking or how further away they seem, we always arrive at the same time so that there is an awkward moment when we almost run into each other and aren’t sure who should walk first. It never fails.
Below is an illustration of said phenomenon. Enjoy.
THE MOTION OF MATT’S OCEAN
Once in a while I’ll mention something about Virginia or Italy or Turkey and realize that the friend that I’m talking to had no idea I didn’t grow up in Oklahoma. So to clarify: I AM NOT FROM OKLAHOMA. Actually, I’m not from ANYWHERE. I’m nomadic; I was a military brat chugging along to wherever Uncle Sam sent my family. Here is the web of PCS’s (Permanent Change of Station) my family has had since I was born:
FYI
-KING KONG was the best movie released last year. I know what you’re thinking, “but Matt, weren’t BATMAN BEGINS and STAR WARS: EPISODE III released last year as well?” Right you are, faithful reader. However, neither was successful as Peter Jackson in making a movie that was visually stimulating as well as having a captivating story. Jackson took an hour and a half movie and stretched it to a 3 hour masterpiece. Unberevable.
-I know some of you say, “well wait just a minute there, Matt! You didn’t mention Crash, Syriana, Good Night and Good Luck, Walk the Line, NOR Cinderella Man when talking about last years best movies!” Again, touché, reader. However, I am a big geek, and while these movies were also excellent, no doubt, they were not great MOVIES which one would go see at the cinema on a whim. They were, however, excellent FILMS. If there is still confusion about the difference between a MOVIE and a FILM, I’ll get into it more next post.
-This year my mother broke the tradition of the annual Valentines Boxer shorts. Instead, she opted to let us buy our own Valentine-goodness at walmart with a handy-dandy little giftcard. Oh Happy Day!
-Snape _______ Dumbledore.
-Seriously, you guys, there’s a Statute of Limitations on this stuff. If you didn’t know by now, you should be ashamed of yourself.
- I liked King Kong so much I started trying to write a KONG SONG modeled after Cisco’s THONG SONG. It didn’t work out too well though. But I still love that KONG KAH-KONG KONG KONG!
- I think it’d be neat to see a remake of the classic Disney movie, PETE’S DRAGON. However, I imagine that today to make the movie sell, the dragon would be replaced with a CG Ninja Dragon that farts fire and owns a pizzeria. Oh the times in which we live.
- Yea, Pete’s Dragon was great. Remember Flight of the Navigator? Yea, that was fun, too. And remember the Wuzzles? Yea. Or how about them crappy transformers, the GO BOTS? Erik doesn’t believe they existed. We had the F-14 guy. They were kinda cool ‘cause they were metal. But anyway, enough of crappy 80’s nonsense.
- Hee hee, Maggie’s gonna KILL ME. 
- Tune in sometime next week for Disney pictures...maybe...hopefully.
I hope your VD was awesome, folks. Until next time,
-that matt fella
| | |
| HALLOWEENI really don’t know what to say about Halloween, to be honest. I mean, I could sum up the history of it, but I think Mark’s already done a good job of that… So…yea, I got nothing. My past couple Halloweens have been kinda uneventful due to helping run a Haunted House on Drummond 2 one year, and then being at a funeral in Texas last year. So THIS year, I went all out (as much out as one can do safely on a Monday night).
I will next pay tribute to some of the coolest, biggest, baddest motha- *watch yo’ mouth!* just talkin’ bout Shaft, baby! *ahem* So without further adieu, I would like to pay tribute to some of the baddest MAMA JAMMAS around in a little segment I like to call:
So I was watching the new Star Wars movie, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, and I got to thinking. (warning: SPOILERS..ie: do not read the next few sentences if you’ve not yet seen the movie) After Padme dies, Anakin is put into this terrible shell and expected to just MOVE ON. I mean, whoa, this guy has just been through some major drama, he needs a support system. So I think he should probably go put an ad in YAHOO PERSONALS if you ask me…
Shy Sith Lord looking for LOVE
About Me:
Age: Most of my parts are still under warranty…
Location: Coruscant and surrounding star systems.
Gender: Man seeking woman or comparable cybernetic organism.
Marital Status: Single
Body Type: Plastic, metal, somewhat athletic.
Height: 6' 7"
Eyes: Blue, sometimes reddish/yellow.
Hair: N/A
Ethnicity: Caucasian (white…with black spots)
Personality Type: Aggressive, but really sweet deep down…really.
Love Style: Sith style, baby: I’ll wine and dine you, then I’ll force choke you till you pass out. Then the real fun begins.
Sense of Humor: Dark, but Goofy.
Social Setting: Usually pretty quiet. I prefer small gatherings…maybe renting a movie and staying in.
TV Watching: SO addicted to Desperate Housewives and SEX AND THE CITY. I also can't get enough of THE APPRENTICE and sometimes BONANZA.
Smoking: My lungs are kinda run by a machine, so…no.
Drinking: Socially only. My favorite drink: flaming Sith Lord…kinda like a flaming Dr. Pepper, but with a touch of Kahlua.
Living Situation: Just one roommate. Not many family and friends visit.
Have Kids: Yes.
Want (more) kids: Probably not gonna happen… genitals were burned off… long story.
Education: BA in Jedi, MA in Sith. Working towards PhD in Applied Management and Decisions Sciences.
Employment Status: Full-time
Occupation: Sith Lord/Military
Income: I'll tell you later
Religion: Sith/Other
Attend Services: When I can.
Political Views: Fascist/Conservative
Astrology: Libra
Languages: Basic, Huttese
Interests: Dancing, Killing Random Imperial Officers, Dining, Listening to Music,Outdoor Activities, Destroying Random Star Systems, Watching Sports, Theater, Travel, Cooking, Pod Racing, Playing Sports, Health/Fitness, Killing Younglings and other Jedi, Fixing Droids, Reading, and Hanging out in my Egg.
IN MY OWN WORDS:
This is the first time I’ve done this, and I’m not really sure just what to say… Ummm, I kinda just got out of a long relationship (she was holding me back in my career, I tried to choke her, same old story). I kinda have some trust issues, so you’ll have to be patient. Well, let’s see… My friends call me Darth… I enjoy long walks on the bridge of my star destroyer, and I like to read Vogon poetry. My favorite bands are Metallica and Styx.
HOMECOMING….AGAIN.Well, it’s that time of the year again: HOMECOMING, and you know what that means: Wentz Hall had to have EVERY Resident Assistant on duty. Oh I THINK you know why…
Hey, if he takes the tube off and gets himself a funnel, he can have a beer bong, and that is NEAT!
SILENT HILL MOVIE KICKASSNESSAll I have to say about the new Silent Hill Movie is that it is going to be EXCELLENT. Video game movies in the past have been terrible, but it seems like they’re doing this one right. I’m excited about all the talented people who went into this movie to make it, and all the talented folks who were cast for it. However, most of all, I am excited about the imagery and colors that are so on par with the video game franchise (so far). Here’s some screens from the video game:
Here’s some screens from the new movie (at least those they’ve decided to release SO FAR):
RHA WEBSITEI realize this has nothing to do with many of you fine folks who will be dropping by my hot little xanga, but I wanted to finally announce (because I’m the freaking awesome webmaster): THE RHA WEBSITE IS UP, BABY. That’s right, Oklahoma State’s Residence Halls Association is proud to present the first incarnation of this year’s RHA website. There may be several additions to it in the coming weeks, but for right now, it’s pretty damn fine. It was really cool to finally be able to edit a webpage without any sort of advertisement or anything to worry about! Neat-o. So go check it out, and be cool, my babies!
FYI
-My Moody Costume was made complete by the clawed wooden foot he has on one of his legs. I wrapped one of my shoes in aluminum foil, shaped the foil into three claws on the front (and one on the back) and then used a type of plaster compound to coat the foil. Then I painted it dark brown. It looked fantastic, that is until I walked to the RHA office and it fell apart on the way. Sad day.
-I have no idea where that MEN IN BLACK list came from. Really, it was completely random, I apologize.
-Just in case you ever find your way over to my humble abode, don’t touch the little plant in the common area. It’s a desert rose…and it’s kinda poisonous. So there ya go: fair warning.
-People keep telling me to check out the Xbox360, “Holy crap, it’s amazing, it’s sooo cool!” Well…umm…why? Bottom line: it’s the same thing as an xbox with prettier graphics. So…that’s…great?
-You can never have enough Irish Cream.
-I asked Erik to help me think of something to write here in FYI and he said to me, “I have no creative thought.” I deftly replied, “That goes without saying.” OOOOH, SOMEBODY JUST GOT SERVED!
-Excuse me for that last comment.
-I’ve had the song,BEYOND THE SEA, stuck in my head for days. Thanks, Maggie. Thanks a lot.
-Maybe I ought to just see that damn movie?
-Was that a question?
-I was trying to read some google news and found a headline saying,Bipartisan group: No rancor. I clicked until I realized my definition of Rancor is completely different. I then had absolutely no desire to read said article. Oh well…
-I just downloaded the lyrics to BEYOND THE SEA. Maybe now I’ll actually know the WHOLE SONG and won’t have to humm everything after “somewhere, waiting for me…”
-And FINALLY: Thank you to my dear friend Bradley who let all the weirdos (Mark, Erik, Me) use his camera, and thus pictures, to take photos of our Halloween costumes. So…thank you.
aaaand that’s enough for now…see you kiddies next time!
-le matt | | |
| MONTH OF ABSENTEE-NESS
You’re probably wondering right now “where the hell has Matt been for the past month, and why the hell should I even forgive him for his absence??” Well, I don’t know how to put this exactly, but I was abducted by ALIENS (and I’m not talking about Mexicans, folks). They probed me, fed me bile, and scared the bejeezis outta me, but I finally escaped on an empty shuttle and made it back to Earth.
”Wait just a second, that only accounts for…maybe a week or ten days, tops, Matt. You’re not fooling anybody!!”
Right you are, faithful reader. However, upon my arrival is when the real problem started. After coming back and alerting the government of my plight, I was forced to hide from them for weeks because they had “tests” of their own to perform on such a fantastical specimen that had been abducted (moi). Well, I survived these past few weeks thanks to a young boy named ELLIOT who hid me from the government. Thanks, Elliot; I’ll forever be in your debt.
So, I don’t have much money, but seriously Elliot, if you ever need me to buy you smokes or anything, lemme know.
FARE THEE WELL, DEAR GLASSES
Well, I’m going to put up a new profile pic this week. Why, you ask? Ummm…that’s a funny story… A few weeks ago, my buddy Brad and I met up with the marvelous Miss Holly for a few drinks at my favorite bar: Stonewall Tavern. After a few hours of playing shuffleboard, pumping quarters in the jukebox, and meeting new people, the bearded Brad and I walked her home. However, in a terribly sinister turn of events, Kerr Drummond happened to have their sprinklers going…at 3 o’clock in the morning. So, it seemed like a REALLY good idea at the time to run through them and get absolutely soaked. However, before running through said sprinklers, I had to take my glasses off and put them in my pocket (apparently the only thing on me that would be easy to dry was the only thing I wanted to make sure didn’t get wet…). So I put them in my shirt pocket and ran head first into the sprinklers of doom. When Brad and I were walking back we noticed I no longer had my glasses, so we went back to investigate further. Upon finding no trace of said spectacles, we were forced to walk home in shame. Hopefully my nose’s longing for a friend will end soon, and I’ll have a new pair of glasses. Until then, profile pics will be sans-spectacles. Stay tuned for updates…maybe.
Oddly enough, I still have that toothbrush…
Do you think I should get the SAME kind of glasses, or a completely new pair? Cast your vote now!
MY EMU EXPERIENCE
A few weeks ago I had to drive home to Enid to outprocess for my summer job (thank you, Uncle Sam!). On the way, I encountered quite the…umm…weird…thing. From about a hundred yards it seemed like a 5 and a half foot man was walking down the middle of the left westbound lane. When I got closer I then realized it wasn’t a man, but a GIANT BROWNISH BIRD!!! Argh!!!
Just imagine it with less trees…damn Oklahoma…
As I watched the oddly majestic creature calmly mosey its way down 412, I thought to myself, “oh, it’s just an EMU…a wild emu…wait…aren’t those native to Australia?” And…umm…yes, they are. So I figured it must be someone’s EMU escaped from their…umm…EMU farm? I got into Enid and decided to call ANIMAL CONTROL. After being redirected there by a local vet clinic (animal control wasn’t listed), I got a voicemail message. So…yea, animal control has voicemail. I said to them:
”Ummm…hey there, my name’s Matt Ohnesorge and I just saw something funny on my way into Enid… Ummm…there’s an EMU heading East in the Westbound lane of 412. Sooo…yea, just thought I should tell someone. Have a good one…” *click*
Thus endeth my EMU ADVENTURE.
fin
YOU MUSTN’T FEAR ME! ahhh, that’s so funny ‘cause only Mark will get it.
I HARTH DARTH
There’s a great webcomic out there for us Star Wars aficionados; it’s called I HARTH DARTH. If you enjoy Star Wars, you ought to check it out sometime.
(caption from iharthdarth.com) ”Padme, like every girl, knew it was practically impossible to find a man who was young, hot and good father material. She had to work with what she had: young, hot and psychopathic. Besides, her biological clock was ticking. She didn’t really care who provided the fiery seed, she just wanted a baby. Real bad. She figured two out of three was good enough. The most important thing was Anakin was hot. And young.”
ORANGE PEEL?
Yea, I know it was a month ago, but something had to be said. That is all.
THE GREATEST DAY OF ERIK’S LIFE…AGAIN
Some of you may remember the last time I cut Erik’s hair. It was GLORIOUS. So this time was a lot easier/less stressful because it was almost an exact repeat of before. And again, I also cut my little brother’s hair. It was one hairy night (thank you Jesus for vacuum cleaners…).
YAY! HERE WE GO!
Ummm… Wow… So I hear hats are in this season!
FYI
-So orange peel…yea…wow…ummm…I, like most of OSU, was not a fan of the performers (besides Pablo Francisco, he’s pretty funny) and decided against going. Hopefully by next year, those on the committee will have learned their lesson as this was far from a successful orange peel. Besides, next year’s going to be my last OP, they’d better get it right!!!
-(however controversial this next one, I thought this was VERY interesting. Courtesy of the ever-lovely Miss Architette.)
-”If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?
If you said YES, you have just killed Beethoven...”
-Just in case you guys were wondering, NO, Mark is NOT drunk up in those hair-cuttery pictures. Give him a break, he’s Mexican…
-My oh-so wonderful parents bought me a Nintendo DS for my birthday! My oh my, it is the best thing I think I’ve ever owned. Thank you so much my dear Mama and Papa (ahhh, I LOVE that picture…it makes me think of Bonnie and Clyde).
-I debated for a while up there in the Erik’s haircut section about if instead of typing “Thank you Jesus for vacuum cleaners” I should type (I wanted sooo very much to type this) “Thank you Jeesers for vacuum cleaners.” I mean, I do give Messiah the benefit of the doubt and am pretty sure he has a good sense of humor, but I just couldn’t do it. Not without an explanation and guilty sounding intro, at least.
-The winner of the amazing MANGO VS. PAPAYA: Fight of Passion vote thingy is….**drumroll**
MANGO. Yes, not only did Mangos overcome, but they obliterated Papayas. It was a friggin’ landslide here, people. However, there was a write-in for the Kiwi (which we respect) from a rogue Captain. Well done.
-Seriously, you guys, this year’s Orange Peel was about as pointless as My Girl 2.
-So how excited is Matt about the new Harry Potter? It’s probably not healthy how excited I am about it. I may even dress up and go to the premiere! Ooooh, I’d looove to dress up as Moody!!! Oh. My. God. I think I must. Who’s up for that? Any HP kiddies wanna dress up, too? I know you’re out there!!! 
Until next time kiddies,
-your favorite little Mexican | | |
| **EDIT**
Special Update to say congratulations to one of my best-good friends, Miss Carey Robinson, who did a splendid job on Lewis Field (now surrounded by Boone Pickens Stadium) last Saturday as a twirler. She was simply breathtaking, and I think we all should give her a round of applause. So next time you see her, just start clapping in her face. Yes!
Thanks to you, Carey, I'm switching my major to Twirling! Again!
And of course, this is the image I found first when I googled "Carey Robinson." He's...ummm...quite lovely.
**END EDIT**
In the Criminal Justice System, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime, and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories.
**CHONG CHONG**
On the night of Friday, August the 26th, Mr. Drake T. Duck was found dead in the kitchen of the Ohnesorge household in Enid, Oklahoma. The following is a photo of the scene of the crime. Proceed with caution.
Investigators have yet to determine time of death. Preliminary reports suggest cause of death was related to major head trauma (the missing beak is a dead giveaway).
Detective Boxing McFrogpen has taken charge of the investigation. This is good, because he also can light up when he writes. SO...yea, bonus.
Don't buy these...they break, and then you're sad. True story.
District Attorney Vincent Van GogHead has notified the victim's family. The victim's cousin, Miss Duck-soap-dispenser, resides in a bathroom in Stillwater.
She cried tears of soap. Sad day.
Police have had a suspect in custody since day one and have finally made an arrest today after some grueling interrogating and a signed confession. DA GogHead has stated he will seek the death penalty after such a heinous crime.
He'd better hope all dogs go to heaven...
FIGHT OF PASSION, FRUIT OF PASSION
Yes, friends, today we resolve the violent rivalry between mangos and papayas ONCE AND FOR ALL. Many a war across nations have been fought for one fruit or another, but today we decide whose fate resides in the mountains with the Gods, and whose in the desert with the serpents (and other lowly fruits). Some believe the papaya just to be a weak facsimile of the mango, only lacking sweetness and sugars. Some believe the mango sold out and became sweet to be more popular. Some really don’t care about weird exotic fruits and probably aren’t even reading this (and to those individuals I say: I’m crushing your head!). In any case, the fighting must stop, and a decision must be made today. So cast your votes and tell me, which is it, which is the better fruit:
MANGO OR PAPAYA???
thank you.
WINNING PICTURE OF HAPPINESS
Well, it should be obvious by now: #8 won by two votes. Though it is a fun picture indeed, it is a bit…how do you say…creepy. So I may change it after a week or two. It is my xanga, afterall  How do ya’ll like this one, anyway?
I really ought to start doing those again. Come visit me and I’ll draw you, too. Word.
FYI
-My Mexican Aunt is visiting from Spain. Isn’t that confusing?
-She’s a nun. The Aunt, I mean…or Tia for you non-gringo/Spanish speakin’ folk.
-Mangos and Papayas are nice, but fruit of passion (passion fruit) is also yummy. True story.
-I met the wonderful Miss Holly (who, btw, still has amazing music at her site) this weekend at The Stonewall Tavern. In Scooby-Doobese, we call her quite “ruvery.”
-Eminem (Marshall Mathers) ought to play Draco Malfoy in the next Harry Potter Movie. I would pay so much to see Em attempt a British accent.
-Does it bug anyone else I just referred to Eminem as “Em?” It bugged me, but I did it anyway. BWAH HA HA!
-My last name, Ohnesorge, means WITHOUT WORRIES in German. This is neat, ‘cause it also means HAKUNA MATATA. I’ll bet you never realized how philosophical my last name is. I’ll bet you never realized how much you didn’t care that my last name is philosophical.
-My ENGL 3410 Professor refuses to pronounce my name (as it is in the United States) Oh-neh-sorj. She insists on pronouncing it the German way, Oh-nuh-zorguh. So…yea, that’s interesting… I said to her “well, in the United States we pronounce it ‘blah blah blah’” but she pointed out that she hated butchering the German language. SO she decided to butcher my last name instead. How…nice.
Until next time, my friends…
-matt d. hakuna matata
 | | |
| I'M NOT GEORGE LOPEZ.
Well, my fellow xangans, it has come time to take my MATTMAN profile picture down and actually put one of ME up there. You see, in the past few entries I've made, I've had more photos of my little brother up there than me. This has caused people to start believing that HE is ME. This, however, is most untrue. So I'm afraid this forces me to put a faceshot of myself up there so as to let those deeply mistaken visitors that I am NOT my brother.
HOWEVER I have decided to let you wonderful xangans pick which picture I actually put up. So what will it be, #1, #2, #...you know the rest...
CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY, TEST YOUR MIGHT!
Pick me a winner!
THE MISEDUCATION OF MATT OHNESORGE
In college, students pay buku bucks to get a college degree. This means taking dozens of classes about Math, Science, History, Literature, etc. I, on the other hand, have apparently started paying Oklahoma State to UNDO this. You see, my first class this semester is entitled, POPULAR FICTION: The Science Fiction Subgenre of Alternate History. So...yea, lemme explain that. In said course, we read novels that examine history and speculate what COULD have happened had something gone differently. Let me show you the cover so you can get a better idea...
If I ever write an Alternate History Story, I'd put a picture of Lincoln on the front weighing 350 lbs surrounded by Crispy Cream boxes... I mean, what if THAT had happened???
SO IT BEGINS.
I come from a family of five: two parents, three boys. Every one of us now attends Oklahoma State, and thus, my mother is forced to be alone at home much of the time. However, her sons are still very much in her mind in the weeks following summer as school starts back up again. Thus, she sees something, thinks of one of her boys, and is compelled to purchase. I am not complaining in the least, but I just had to give some background as to why my mother made the following purchase: a pillow shaped like a bottle of LA CERVEZA MAS FINA. Note: I had no digital camera at home, but was carrying my camera-phone. Hence the grainy pictures. So...yea, enjoy.
That pillow looks DELICIOUS.
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS
People have had suspicions about it for years: Are American sportscasters actually who they CLAIM to be, or are they clones of Hollywood's finest??? That's right, folks, the truth is out there....errr....the truth is right here. You see, Bob Costas (HBO) and Lee Corso (ESPN) are actually alien clones (from spores, mind you) of Mel Brooks and Mark Hammil (non-respectively...so, disrespectfully). So...yea, I guess that's it. Check it out, if you don't believe me!!
FYI
-I got an email from the smithsonian institute about membership! I was friggin excited as a tadpole (oooh, smithsonian membership, sounds intriguing!!), that is until I noticed they were just asking me for 12 bucks. Sad day.
-I really dig Jason Statham; I think he has A LOT of potential as an actor. However, Making another Transporter movie makes me sad to live in a world that would let that happen.
-I went to the official (oh yea, impressed?) HARRY POTTER webpage and downloaded one of their backgrounds for my desktop. At first, I realized that in the book, I had supported Cedric Diggory as he was the TRUE Hogwarts Champion (if you haven't read the book, you've no idea what I'm talking about...so...umm...sorry). Then I realized that I didn't want to stare at a picture of that kid all day and downloaded one with Fleur Delacour instead....mmmm.
-That last FYI was totally ridiculously unnecessary, but I'm looking for filler...
-I saw Trent Lott on The Daily Show last night...it was surreal. I like Jon Stewart more and more every time I see him have a huge conservative on his program. He seems waaaay too closed minded during election years; it's nice to see him loosen up and have guests like Lott on the show once in a while. They make for kinda strange bedfellows, but make for an intelligent and hella good late night show.
-If you live in Patchin 308, stop the stomping around already. We get it, "I'M A DINOSAUR, RAWR!" Yea yea, ENOUGH ALREADY!
-Any dinosaurs that read had to read that last bit, I apologize.
-Buy the Scissor Sisters album. Now. Or talk to me, and I'll try and burn you a copy or something. Really, it is FAN-TAS-TICO.
-Go see Tyler. He hates your iPod.
-"When no one was looking, Lex Luthor stole forty cakes. He took 40 cakes. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible."
(Courtesy of Miss Holly who has THE COOLEST music playing at her xanga)
until next week(s) kiddies,
-mattman for the last time... | | |
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